Late Spring, Distant Ship, Broken Vows

The day I found out my boyfriend was cheating, I grabbed a kitchen knife and went straight to the other woman's place.

If you're going to betray me, then none of us gets to walk away. I said it to them with a smile.

It was my mother who threw herself in front of me, crying, begging me not to do anything rash.

"You're my only daughter. If something happens to you, what am I supposed to do for the rest of my life?"

My father cheated when I was in grade school. After the divorce, my mother raised me alone. She was the most important person in the world to me, and I couldn't stand to make her worry.

In the end, it all wrapped up with my mother forcing Kerry Sanchez to get down and bow to me three times.

After that, Kerry reported his every move, granted my every wish, and my mother was with me every single day, taking care of me down to the smallest detail.

Everyone said I had the perfect family.

Then came Mother's Day, when I came home early carrying a bouquet of carnations, planning to surprise her.

The door wasn't shut all the way, and voices drifted out from inside.

"Mom, Katherine Simmons's recovering really well. Next time I'll take you to see the baby."

"If you hadn't covered for me all this time, and let Katherine move into the old house, we couldn't have lived so peacefully all these years."

My mother sighed. "As long as you're good to Katherine, and you don't hold it against me for making you kneel back then. I did all of this hoping Katherine could be happy."

So the reformed man was a lie, the model family was a lie. They'd been staging this whole thing, all because they were afraid I'd hurt that woman.

The words had barely faded when my mother pulled a jade bracelet out of the cabinet and pressed it into Kerry's hand. "Give this to Katherine for me. It wasn't easy for her, having the baby. Today's Mother's Day, so Cora Fox's bound to want to spend it with me and I can't get away. I'll make some chicken soup and go see her tomorrow."

But I distinctly remembered that bracelet was her most treasured piece of jewelry, the one she'd always said she'd give to me one day.

Kerry took the bracelet from her.

"Mom, you really do adore Katherine. I don't even know how to thank you."

My mother waved him off. "Why talk like that, we're family. I've thought of Katherine as my own daughter for a long time now. Having a good man like you to love her, I couldn't be happier."

"Thinking back on what happened, it still frightens me. Cora went to Katherine's place with a kitchen knife, and I didn't even stop to think, I just put myself between them. I was so afraid that knife would come down on her. Thank goodness nothing happened in the end."

"Cora takes after me, gets worked up over the smallest thing. Why couldn't she be gentle and gracious like Katherine? No wonder you like her."

The air was warm, but all I felt was a cold that went to the bone, and my hands around the carnations wouldn't stop shaking.

My mother of all people had been through this, betrayed by a cheating husband, so how could she say something like that?

Back when she'd first found out my father was cheating, she couldn't sleep for nights on end, crying until she could barely breathe, and I was the one who wiped her tears away bit by bit, the one who got her through the worst of it.

And now she was calling Kerry's betrayal of me a small thing.

The two people I'd once thought mattered most, my mother and Kerry, had been running me in circles for the sake of another woman.

Then what about me? What did I count for? Was this just their way of keeping me calm, because they were afraid I'd hurt her?

I didn't go in. I turned around, went back downstairs, and dropped the carnations in the trash.

At the entrance to the complex, I flagged down a cab.

I got in dazed, unable to accept it for the longest time.

It wasn't until the driver spoke up, "Where to, miss?", that I gave him the address of our old house.

He could see I was down, and he tried to make conversation.

"Miss, you look upset. Something weighing on you? My daughter's about your age. I always tell her, as long as you're happy that's all that matters, don't overthink the rest."

"If your daughter's boyfriend cheated on her, what would you do?" I asked.

The driver went still for a beat, then answered with a flash of anger. "Something like that happens to her, and it'll be a miracle if I don't put that man and his mistress in the hospital."

Right. I'd thought every parent would stand behind their child, no matter what. So why wouldn't mine?

I was still thinking it over when the cab pulled up at the address.

This apartment had been my parents' marriage home. After the divorce, my mother would keep getting swept up in old feelings whenever she was there, so she took me and moved out. It held the only memory I had of a whole family.

Two years ago she suddenly told me she'd rented it out, and I never questioned it. It never occurred to me that renting it out was the lie, and what was real was the person she'd hidden inside.

Standing at the door, my hand around the key kept trembling, and it took me several tries to get it into the lock.

I opened the door and saw two pairs of slippers in the entryway, one black, and a pink pair shaped like rabbits.

The place had been renovated. You couldn't tell it had ever looked the way it once did.

Pink was everywhere I looked, pale pink walls, a flesh-pink sofa, even the tissue box on the table was pink.

And Kerry had always told me pink was the color he hated most.

I pushed open the door to my old bedroom, and there was nothing left of what it used to be. It had been turned into a nursery.

There was a crib in it, piles of all kinds of toys, and a few books about raising children set out around them.

On the other side, the master bedroom wall was covered with photos of Kerry and Katherine, at an amusement park, celebrating her birthday, on a trip to the beach together. They'd had so much time together, and I'd never noticed a thing.

It suddenly came back to me. One night last week Kerry came home very late, and I'd meant to go to his company to find him. In the end my mother said she didn't want me tiring myself out, and she'd go in my place.

She came back and told me Kerry was working late at the office. But I'd clearly caught a scent on her that didn't belong to any office.

The last time Kerry went on a business trip, she was the one who laid the notice in front of me too, and I never once doubted it.

All these years my mother kept saying she'd keep an eye on Kerry for me. But everything she did was making chances for him and Katherine to be together, hiding it all from me.

The two of them. One kept covering to create openings for Katherine, the other played the perfect husband every day so I wouldn't find out, and between them they built Katherine this safe little harbor.

Only I was caught in the middle, run in circles like a fool.

I don't remember how I got home. The moment I pushed the door open, my mother and Kerry both crowded in on me.

My mother looked at me, all worry. "Cora, where did you go? Do you want to scare me to death?"

Kerry said nothing. He just took my bag from my hand, easy as always, and handed me a cup of warm water the way he always did.

Such a good performance. If I hadn't found out the truth today, I'd probably still be living inside this fake picture of a happy life.

When Kerry leaned close, I caught that faint scent on him. The same one from the old house. The same one on my mother last week.

My stomach turned over, and I ran to the bathroom, retching and unable to stop, tears spilling down before I could hold them back.

Kerry followed me in at once, a little frantic, rubbing my back gently.

"What's wrong? Why did you get sick so suddenly?" His voice had an edge of worry.

"Don't touch me. You make me sick." My own voice was flat.

Kerry drew in a breath. Something irritable flickered through his eyes, but in the end he pressed it down and spoke gently. "You're imagining things again. Katherine and I ended it a long time ago. If you don't believe me, ask Mom. She's been keeping an eye on me the whole time."

"Back then you were always imagining things, and that's how you got sick. I won't let it happen again. I'll worry."

My mother nodded beside him. "That's right. Kerry did do you wrong before, but he hasn't wronged you in the slightest since. Besides being with you, all Kerry does is work. Other women would envy that. You can't accuse him unfairly."

For all these years, this was what they'd always said. They lied without a flicker of change on their faces, and I actually believed them.

"Is that so?" I asked, smiling.

"Of course it's true." Kerry frowned, a little irritated.

I took out a lip gloss. I'd picked it up at the old house today.

"Then what's this?" I asked.

Kerry suddenly went quiet.

The silence stretched a long time before my mother spoke. "So that's where it went. I couldn't find it. Look at the mess this caused. It's my fault for not putting my things away, making the two of you fight again."

Just like that, I didn't want to ask anything more.

She never once used lip gloss, yet to cover for him she'd tell a lie this clumsy.

I pressed the lip gloss back into her hand and went into my room.

Kerry followed me in and took my hand gently.

"Cora, I know what happened before hurt you badly, but I really haven't done anything to wrong you again."

"Tomorrow I'll spend the whole day with you. I'll take you to that restaurant you've always wanted to try, all right?"

I nodded a little, but there wasn't the smallest trace of happiness on my face.

Kerry finally couldn't hold it in. Forcing his emotions down, he said, "Can you stop treating me like this all the time? All these years I've done everything you asked. When have I ever shortchanged you, in money or anything else? What man would treat you the way I do? Your mother's afraid of upsetting you too, always finding new ways to keep you happy. And you? Can't you show a little sense?"

"Then what kind of attitude should I have? Ask nothing, play dumb, and go along with your act, and that counts as sense?" My tone stayed level.

The silence in the room went on for a long time.

In the end, Kerry shut the bedroom door, leaving behind only one line. "Think it over carefully." And then he was gone.

The next morning I woke to Kerry already rushing to get out the door.

He saw my eyes open and reached over to stroke my hair.

"There's an important meeting at the company today, something last-minute. I have to go in. I'll be with you tonight, okay? Just be good."

I gave a small nod.

He seemed surprised that I'd agreed so easily. Before he left, he turned back to look at me, his eyes full of tenderness.

Once Kerry was out the door, I followed behind him and got into a car.

The car didn't head for the company. It drove all the way to a maternity hospital.

I trailed after Kerry and watched him walk into a hospital room.

I stood outside. The person lying in the bed was clearly Katherine.

"Kerry, Aunt said Cora threw a fit yesterday. You don't think she's found out something, do you?" Her voice was so sweet it turned my stomach.

Kerry soothed her. "She hasn't. You just gave birth, don't fill your head with all this, it's bad for you. And even if she did find out, I still love you most. What are you afraid of?"

Katherine caught his hand and pouted. "I'm just scared of being apart from you."

He pinched her cheek. "How would we ever be apart? Mom and I have gone to all this trouble hiding it from her just so I could be with you. There you go, overthinking again."

"It's only that I've put you through so much. We can't be open about it, and you have to stay in that old house. Give it a few more years, once things are steadier, I'll move you into the empty villa."

I stood at the door, and my feet felt like they'd been filled with lead.

It was several minutes before I finally pushed the door open.

The moment Katherine saw me come in, her face froze.

I hadn't seen her once since the affair blew up back then.

Kerry had been feeding her the chicken soup my mother made. When he saw me, he stepped straight in front of her, as if afraid I'd hurt her, with no intention at all of explaining himself.

I smiled, my tone light. "Katherine, how could you have a baby and not tell me? I am your cousin, after all."

"So who's the father? Don't tell me you've gone and gotten yourself involved with a married man again. Having a child out of wedlock isn't exactly something to be proud of."

Kerry's brow creased, and he took a few steps toward me.

"Cora, do you have to be so nasty?"

I let out a cold laugh. "I'm being nasty? Then why don't you explain to me what you're doing here?"

Off to the side, Katherine looked about to cry.

"Kerry only came to check on me. He didn't dare tell you because he was afraid you'd be upset. Don't misunderstand." Her voice was thick with tears.

I looked around the room. It was packed with gifts of every kind.

One of the bags I'd happened to see in Kerry's car a few days ago. At the time I'd thought it was a surprise for me.

I raised my eyes to Katherine. On her wrist was my mother's bracelet.

Suddenly my head felt like it was splitting open, my body shaking so I couldn't stop it, a wave of nausea rising until I wanted to be sick.

Seeing this, Kerry dropped the badgering and came over to steady me.

"What's wrong?" There was worry in his voice.

He didn't wait for me to answer. He took me out of the room.

He brought me back to the car and said, a little anxiously, "Is it your condition again? I told you not to let your mind run wild. Don't you know by now how I treat you?"

"Then what about Katherine? Why are you with her? And whose child is that?" I asked.

"It's exactly because I was worried about your health that I never told you all these years. She married one of my business partners. He had something to deal with today and asked me to help look after her, that's the only reason I came." Kerry said.

Then he actually took out a photo of Katherine and some man to show me, as if he'd prepared it long ago.

He held my hand. "Stop thinking about it, all right? In a few days I'll take you in for a checkup."

Before I could react, his phone rang. He glanced at it but didn't answer.

"There really is something going on at the office. Let me have the driver take you home first."

Sitting in the car, I felt anything but calm. Halfway there I got out, and as if something were pulling me, I walked back to the hospital.

In the room, Katherine had her arms around Kerry, pouting. "Didn't you say you only love me? Then why do you care so much about her?"

"Sweetheart, of course I love you most. Haven't I given you everything good there is? She just has the title of Mrs. Sanchez, that's all." Kerry's voice held a tenderness I'd never once heard from him.

"Hmph. You'd better only ever love me." And with that, Katherine kissed him.

And now, I didn't even have the strength left to push that door open.

A few days later, Kerry came with me to the hospital for my follow-up.

We hadn't even seen the doctor yet when he glanced at a message on his phone, checked the time, and got ready to go.

"Cora, something's come up at the company, a meeting I have to sit in on. Can you see the doctor on your own? I'll have the driver take you home after."

I nodded. I didn't ask what meeting was so urgent, and I didn't ask when he'd be back.

After the exam, the doctor said my condition had gotten worse, that I had to stay away from people and situations that would upset me.

But I thought of Kerry rushing off, and somehow I still wanted to go and see.

I went to the old house. The garden was laid out in plain view.

There was a cake and flowers on the table, dishes of every kind spread across it. Katherine sat in the very middle, Kerry on one side and my mother on the other, exactly like a real family of three.

"Aunt, Kerry, I'm so happy you both came to take me home from the hospital today." Katherine's voice carried a joy she couldn't hide.

Just then Kerry pulled out a diamond ring and slid it onto her finger. Katherine's eyes lit up.

"All these years, because of Cora, I've owed you too much. But I promise you're the only one in my heart. One day I'll make sure you can stand at my side out in the open." Kerry's voice was firm.

My mother laughed, delighted, and said, "Why are you still calling me Aunt? I've told you, I've thought of you as my daughter for ages. Go on, call me Mom."

Katherine smiled sweetly and said shyly, "Mom."

I stood in the corner watching all of it, my head throbbing in wave after wave of pain.

My husband, my mother, all of it hers now.

I don't know how I made it out of the neighborhood. My soul felt like it had left my body. It was as if I could see myself walking down the road, but I couldn't control my own body.

All I remember at the end is a big truck barreling toward me, and then I couldn't see anything anymore.

When I opened my eyes again, I found myself standing in the bedroom doorway, and on the bed were Katherine and Kerry, their clothes half off.