My Cat Sounds Like My Ex

Sharp claws sliced across the back of my hand. I watched red beads of blood splatter onto the floor.

I had been a slave to this cat for three years.

The reward?

A hand dripping with blood.

Bagel looked at me. His eyes were filled with pure, unadulterated loathing.

Then the door opened. My roommate walked in.

The change was instant. Bagel dove into her arms, nuzzling his face deep into her chest.

And then I heard it.

A man's voice. Echoing deep inside my skull.

"God, I hate her. Look at her. Ugly. Smelling like desperate sweat. What gives her the right to touch me?"

I froze. My entire body went rigid.

"Cassidy is so much better. Soft. Smells amazing. She gave me seven treats today. I might be stuck in this cat body, but I'm staying faithful to Cassidy."

My blood turned to ice.

Cassidy is my roommate.

But that voice.

There was no mistaking it.

That was Kyle.

My boyfriend.

Chapter 1

Midnight.

I was finally done with overtime. The rain had soaked through to my scalp, leaving a dull, throbbing headache behind my eyes.

I pushed the apartment door open.

Disaster. Total war zone.

My slippers were shredded. My water cup was overturned, a puddle spreading across the floorboards. Important papers had been chewed into confetti.

It was spring. Bagel was hormonal. I knew that.

But then I looked to the left.

Cassidys side of the room.

Pristine. Untouched.

Her delicate little trinkets sat perfectly on her shelves. Like they were protected by an invisible forcefield.

Unbelievable.

The culprit was currently curled up on Cassidys lap, eyes squinted shut in bliss. He looked like he was living his best life.

I walked toward the living room, clutching a cup of lukewarm latte.

"Mara, you're back! You didn't get caught in the rain, did you?"

Cassidy looked up. Her eyes landed on the cup in my hand.

"Oh! A latte! Did Kyle ask you to bring that for me? I told him I was scared of the rain and didn't want to go out. I can't believe he took it to heart. Thanks for the trouble, Mara."

She tilted her chin up slightly. Her tone was dripping with that sugary, girlish charm.

"I bought this for myself," I said.

My voice was flat.

Her smile faltered for a fraction of a second. Then the mask was back in place. Sweet. Innocent.

"Mara, I have to vent. Bagel has been so annoying today. He's literally obsessed with me."

She laughed. Her hand patted the cats head.

Bagel purred. A loud, rumbling sound of pure contentment vibrating under her palm.

"Hmm. That's good."

I forced the corners of my mouth up. A polite, plastic smile.

I knew she was showing off. And there wasn't a single thing I could do about it.

Bagel never acted like that with me.

In three years, he had never curled up on my knees. Never followed me around. Never exposed his belly to me.

All I ever got was avoidance. Distance. Rejection.

And I was the one who raised him.

Cassidy had been living here for a month. Logically, I knew I shouldn't be jealous over a pet. But my bones ached with exhaustion.

And the version of Bagel she was bragging aboutthe affectionate, loving catsounded so nice.

I just wanted Bagel to hold me for once.

"Bagel."

I walked up to him. I called his name.

The cat didn't even twitch an ear.

"Bagel."

I tried again. Louder this time.

"Bagel."

"Bagel!"

A sting pricked at the corners of my eyes. The exhaustion of the day mixed with a sudden, sharp wave of grievance.

He was so happy in Cassidys arms. But he wouldn't even look at me.

I was his owner.

Chapter 2

I was the one who dragged him to the vet. I was the one who filled his bowl every single day. I was the one who trimmed his claws and brushed his fur.

I had been working overtime for weeks just to afford a new scratching post for him.

I knew he was just a cat. But wasn't he my cat?

My begging finally got a reaction.

Bagel looked up at me. But there was no affection in those eyes.

Only disgust.

It was terrifying. I was seeing human disgust in the eyes of an animal.

Then he stood up. Hissed.

A low, guttural growl vibrated in his throat. His fur puffed out, making him look twice his size. He bared sharp, white fangs at me.

His tail slammed against the sofa cushion in a rhythmic, angry beat.

But I noticed something.

He was positioning himself. He was standing between me and Cassidy. Blocking me. Protecting her.

Then the voice invaded my brain again.

"Can she just back off? She's so annoying. Ugly. Stinks. It's disgusting that she keeps trying to touch me."

"And she didn't listen to me. She didn't bring the latte for Cassidy!"

"I love Cassidy. Meow. She smells like sugar and flowers. She gave me seven treat tubes today."

"Meow."

The tone was Kyle.

The sound was Bagel.

It felt like a physical blow to the head. My fingers went numb, a pins-and-needles sensation shooting up my arm.

I stood there, paralyzed.

Bagel was a stray that Kylemy boyfriendhad found.

Back then, Bagel was only a month old. A mess of matted fur, infected eyes, and a raspy, dying meow. His belly was swollen with fluid. He was hunched over in a painful meatloaf position.

He was pathetic.

And I fell in love with him instantly.

So when Kyle told me to keep him, I said yes without hesitation.

I was an intern back then. Fresh out of college. Making minimum wage. Zero savings.

Bagels first vet visit cost half my monthly rent. The medicine and prescription food were a financial death sentence.

But I was drowning in joy.

I had a cat. A little life that needed me. Someone to wait for me.

I borrowed money from every friend I had. I maxed out two credit cards. I worked overtime for a solid month just to pay off the debt.

I remembered leaving the vet hospital at 3:00 AM. The late autumn wind was cutting through my clothes.

I wrapped Bagel inside my jacket, pressing him against my chest to share my body heat.

I couldn't afford a carrier. The cheapest one was fifty dollars. That was my food budget for a week.

So I carried him.

Walking under the streetlights, it felt like a scene from a movie. Just the two of us against the world.

When I pushed open the door to my tiny, cramped but cozy apartment, I bent down and kissed his little forehead.

"We're home," I whispered.

We were home. It was supposed to be our sanctuary.

But Bagel never warmed up to me.

If I reached for him, he flinched. He refused to be in the same room as me. The only time he tolerated my existence was when I held a treat.

The second the food was gone, he was gone.

I was hurt. Of course I was.

But I rationalized it.

He's my cat. He's just naturally shy. He has trauma from the streets. It's okay.

Friends told me to stop feeding him for a day.

"Starve him," they said. "Make him realize who the master is."

I refused. I couldn't do it. I just wanted my cat to be happy.

You have to accept that some cats just aren't affectionate. That's what I told myself for three years.

Until Cassidy moved in.

That's when the truth hit me like a truck.

My cat isn't anti-social.

He just hates me.

Chapter 3

Cassidy was a student in Kyle's program, a few years behind him. She was in the city to prep for her grad school entrance exams and needed a temporary crash pad.

I am an introvert. The idea of sharing my sanctuary with a stranger made my skin crawl.

But Kyle begged. He gave me the puppy dog eyes.

So, like an idiot, I agreed.

Since the day Cassidy dragged her suitcases through the door, Bagel had been obsessed with her.

Cassidy never scooped the litter box. She never filled the water fountain. She never spent a dime on vet bills. All she did was wave a feather wand around once in a while.

Yet, Bagel followed her like a shadow.

One call of his name, and he came running. He would flop over, exposing his fluffy white belly for rubs. At night, he slept curled up against her spine.

He never did that for me.

Three years. I raised him for three years, and he never showed me a fraction of that affection.

I used to tell myself it was just his personality. Bagel is cold. Bagel is aloof. Thats just who he is. Its fair.

But it wasn't fair.

Cassidy did absolutely nothing, and she won. I poured my soul into this animal, and I lost.

I couldn't force myself to like her.

Actually, I hated her.

I was jealous. Because both the males in my lifemy boyfriend and my cathanded her their unconditional love on a silver platter.

I remembered the day I agreed to let her move in.

"Mara, I'm so happy! Now Cassidy can focus on her exams without worrying. You really are the kindest girl in the world."

Kyles face had been glowing. His eyes were bright.

That memory felt like a needle under my fingernails now.

Why was he so ecstatic? She was just a junior from his program.

"Why are you so happy?" I had asked him, my voice tight.

"Oh... well, mainly because Cassidy is a bit high-maintenance. Shes spoiled. Plus, her uncle was my thesis advisor. I just want to make sure shes taken care of."

He hesitated for a split second before plastering on that charming smile to placate me.

"Do you remember..."

I looked at his face back then, and it felt like looking at a stranger.

"Never mind."

I was too tired to fight.

The contrast was suffocating.

When I first graduated, my job was on the other side of the city. I had begged him.

"Babe, come apartment hunting with me? Please?"

"If we find a place in the middle, we could live together. We could see each other every day."

I was giddy with excitement. My heart was pounding with the excitement of starting a life together.

Kyle just frowned. He looked annoyed.

"I'm swamped at work, Mara. Adding commute time would kill me. Just find a place yourself."

I felt small.

"But I really want to be with you. I need you."

His annoyance deepened into anger.

"Mara, you're working now. Can you grow up a little? Can't you handle your own problems? Besides, haven't you always been independent? You're used to this."

My smile died on my lips.

I ended up in a sketchy sublet. I fought with shady agents. I dealt with a landlord who gouged me on utilities.

I never asked Kyle for help again.

And he seemed perfectly satisfied with my sensible independence.

But for Cassidy?

For her housing, he went above and beyond. He was eager. He was involved.

After Cassidy moved in, there was friction. Of course there was friction.

But every time I brought it up to Kyle, his response was a broken record.

"Just let it go, Mara. Be the bigger person."

We fought about it constantly. Every argument ended the same way.

"She's not like you, Mara. Shes lived a sheltered life. She was raised like a princess. She needs people to take care of her."

I stopped bringing it up.

There is a specific kind of pain that comes from your partner telling you that you are designed to suffer, while another woman is designed to be cherished.

Its a dull, rusted blade twisting in your gut.

Love flows to the loved. Money flows to the rich.

My boyfriend was like that.

And apparently, so was my cat.

Chapter 4

Meow. So annoying. Is she going to call me and cry again?

I seriously do not want to comfort her right now. Hearing her sob makes me want to vomit. I will just play dead later. She can self-soothe anyway.

She is not Cassidy. Mara is so desperate. So average. What right does she have to be high-maintenance?

Bagel slammed his tail against the floor.

Thump. Thump.

The rhythmic noise scrambled my brain. My skull felt like it was being split open by an axe.

Panic expanded in my chest, a physical weight crushing my lungs against my ribs. I could not breathe.

The voice kept going.

It was a hybrid nightmare. The high-pitched whine of a cat mixed with the distinct, deep baritone of my boyfriend.

The two sounds I loved most in the world were now drilling into my eardrums.

Spewing hatred. Disgust.

And pure, adoring love for Cassidy.

Some of the things the voice mentioned were things Bagel and I did. Some were things Kyle and I did.

But Cassidy.

That was Kyle's special nickname for her.

Was I losing my mind? Was the anxiety finally causing a psychotic break?

Or.

Was I actually hearing the inner thoughts of my cat? Or my boyfriend?

It was absurd. It was impossible.

The next day, I booked an appointment with a therapist. The diagnosis? I was perfectly fine. Normal stress levels.

I went back home, my mind a mess of static.

Cassidy was out for school stuff. It was just me and Bagel.

I cleaned the litter box. I filled the food bowl. I grabbed a squeeze treathis favorite.

Maybe he just really liked the treats? Maybe yesterday was just a fever dream brought on by the rain?

Bagel. Come here.

I called out to him.

His eyes lit up when he saw the tube. He bolted across the room. He clamped his teeth onto the plastic wrapper in my hand.

I reached out to pet his head.

Slash.

Pain flared across my skin.

Bagel snatched the treat and scrambled a yard away. He crouched there, staring at me with guarded eyes.

Blood welled up in three parallel lines on my arm.

Phew. Close one. I did not let her touch me.

Her touching me makes my skin crawl. I cannot control my human body right now, but as a cat? I am saving myself for Cassidy.

The voice was crystal clear.

My arm throbbed. A stinging, itching heat that shot straight to my brain.

It was real. It was too real to ignore.

The evidence pushed me toward the most insane conclusion possible.

I could hear my cat's thoughts.

My cat and my boyfriend were the same entity.

And he hated my guts.

I went to the bathroom. I washed the blood off in the sink. I splashed cold water on my face, trying to depuff my red, swollen eyes