The Wife He Used Became the Queen He Can’t Touch

On our fifth wedding anniversary, the first thing I got wasnt a gift. It was a video.

My husband, Hudson Hayes, was in some expensive hotel room, laughing and sleeping with another woman like I didnt even exist. And it wasnt just any woman. It was Amber Fenwick, his first love.

I watched the whole thing without blinking while waiting for him at the restaurant. I just sat there, ate my food, and smiled.

When I got home, I didnt cry either. I picked up my phone and called my lawyer.

Attorney, I sent you the divorce papers. The one Hudson and I signed on our wedding day five years ago. Did you see anything wrong with it?

I stood by the window when I said it, staring at my own reflection instead of the city outside. My fingers kept rubbing the edge of my phone like I was trying to peel something off it. Maybe I was just trying to feel something.

Ms. Hereford, Ive reviewed everything, the lawyer said, calm and distant. Theres no issue. Youve got one month left before the five year term ends. Once its up, the agreement takes effect automatically. You can go down to the county clerks office and file for the divorce.

One month.

Just one more month.

Okay. Thank you.

I hung up and didnt move for a while.

Then my eyes drifted up.

The wedding photo was still hanging there, right where it had always been. Like nothing had changed. Like everything hadnt already rotted from the inside.

I walked closer without thinking.

In the picture, I was smiling so brightly. God, I looked stupid. My dress was pure white, my eyes curved like I believed in forever.

And Hudson

He stood beside me in that perfect suit, tall and untouchable. Handsome like something carved out of stone. But his face was cold. No smile. Not even a fake one.

Anyone could see it.

He never loved me.

Its almost over, I whispered, my fingers brushing against his face in the photo. Cold glass. That was all hed ever been to me. You must be happy, huh?

Or was that just me trying to convince myself?

The sound of the door unlocking snapped me out of it.

I pulled my hand back like Id been caught doing something wrong and turned around quickly.

Youre back.

My voice came out softer than I wanted.

He walked in like he owned the world. Like the air itself moved out of his way. Hudson always had that presence. Heavy. Dangerous. The kind of man people lowered their eyes around.

A mafia boss. A king in the dark.

I took his suit jacket as he shrugged it off and hung it up carefully. Then I knelt in front of him and helped him change into his slippers. My hands moved on their own. I didnt even have to think.

Id done this too many times.

Hudson loosened his tie, irritation already written all over his face. Next months the Hayes Global anniversary banquet, he said. Youre coming with me.

My hands paused for a second.

Then I finished adjusting his slippers and stood up slowly. I cant go.

His head snapped toward me. What the hell do you mean you cant go?

I opened my mouth but nothing came out at first.

Should I tell him? That his woman send their videos to me? Would it even matter?

Before I could say anything, his expression darkened like he already had his own answer.

Dont tell me this is about Amber again. His voice dropped, colder now, sharper. I told you from day one I had someone else. You said you wouldnt interfere. Or were you just talking shit back then?

The words hit like they always did. Clean. Precise. Like a blade he knew exactly how to use.

My chest tightened and it hurt so bad I almost laughed.

Yeah. What kind of husband said that on his wedding day?

What kind of wife agreed?

Im not I stopped, swallowing hard. Its not that.

But wasnt it?

Or was I just too tired to fight anymore?

He scoffed, running a hand through his hair. Then whats your problem? Its just a damn banquet. Youve done it before. Stand there, smile, play the part. Thats all Im asking.

Just stand there.

Just smile.

Just pretend like I wasnt slowly breaking apart inside. I looked at him and for a second, I wanted to ask.

Did you ever feel even a little guilty? Did you ever look at me and think I was your wife? But the words died before they could leave my mouth.

Because I already knew the answer.

Five years ago, when our families announced the marriage, I thought Id been given everything. Id liked him for so long. Longer than I wanted to admit. So when I heard I was going to marry Hudson Hayes, I thought maybe this was fate.

Maybe hed learn to love me.

I was so stupid.

That night, in that same house, still in my wedding dress, he handed me a contract instead of touching me.

Ive got someone I like, he said, like he was talking about the weather. Cold. Detached. Shes not from the right background, and my family wont accept her. But give me five years.

I remember just staring at him, my hands shaking as I held the paper.

Five years?

For these five years, you stay as my wife in name, he continued. Ill take control of the Hayes family, and when I do, no one will dare say shit about who I choose. After that He looked at me like I was nothing more than a business deal. We divorce. Clean. Simple.

That night, I signed the papers like he wanted. My hands didnt even feel like mine when I wrote my name. It was just done. Like Id already lost before anything even started.

Then I locked myself in the bathroom and cried until morning. No sound, just shaking and choking on it, biting my sleeve so no one would hear. Like that would change anything.

Less than three months into the marriage, Amber disappeared. Just gone. I heard they had a huge fight before that, but no one told me details. I didnt need them. I saw what it did to him.

Hudson went crazy. He used every connection he had, every man under him, every dirty favor. A mafia boss like him, someone who could find anyone in this world and still, he couldnt find her.

I watched him break.

He stopped coming home most nights. And when he did, he smelled like alcohol and smoke and something darker. His eyes were always heavy, like he hadnt slept in days. I wanted to ask if he was okay. I never did. What right did I have?

Then one night, he came back drunk. Really drunk. The kind where he could barely stand straight but still walked like he owned everything.

Before I could even say anything, he grabbed me.

Hudson I tried, my voice shaking.

He didnt answer.

He pushed me onto the bed like I weighed nothing. My heart was beating so fast I thought it would tear out of my chest. Was this happening? Did he finally?

But then his lips crashed onto mine and I froze. It tasted like alcohol. Bitter. Suffocating.

Amber his voice broke, rough and desperate against my skin. Why the hell did you leave me, huh? Whyd you run off with that guy? You think I wouldnt come for you? You dont trust me that much?

Everything inside me just stopped. My body went stiff under him. So he found her. But she left him anyway. And I was just, here. A substitute. A shadow. Something he could hold when the real one was gone.

That night was my first time. I didnt even know if I should cry or laugh. He held me the whole night, his grip tight like he was afraid someone would take me away too. But every word that came out of his mouth was her name. Over and over again. Not mine. Never mine.

I stared at the ceiling until my eyes burned, wondering was this what being a wife meant? Or was I just something he used to survive her absence?

The next morning, he woke up first. There were bloodstains on the sheets. He noticed. I saw it in the way his eyes paused for a second. Just a second.

Then he looked away.

Didnt say anything. Not even one word. Not even sorry.

I smiled like nothing happened. I got his clothes ready, laid them out neatly like I always did.

Youve got an important meeting today, I told him softly. Dont be late.

Like I wasnt the one who bled all night. Like my heart wasnt already torn open.

...

From that day on, I tried harder. Pathetic, right? I knew he didnt love me. I knew I was just filling space. But I still tried.

He had a bad stomach, so I woke up early every morning and made him chicken soup. The kind that wouldnt hurt him. He was always under pressure, dealing with things I didnt even want to imagine, so I learned how to massage his shoulders and his back, careful and quiet.

I liked silence anyway. Or maybe I just got used to it. I stopped making noise, stopped asking for anything. Even my footsteps became softer. If I stayed small enough maybe I wouldnt bother him.

And somehow, he started changing. A little.

When he came back from business trips, hed sometimes bring me small things. Nothing big. Just something.

When I got sick, hed make me medicine himself and hand it to me without looking at me.

Drink it, hed say. Dont be stubborn.

And at night, sometimes he held me. His arm around my waist, his body warm against mine. Those moments felt so real it scared me. Like maybe maybe he was starting to see me. Maybe I wasnt just nothing to him anymore.

He never mentioned the divorce again. Not once. Like that paper we signed never existed.

And I I actually believed it. I thought maybe if I just held on a little longer, hed fall in love with me.

Stupid, right?

Three months ago, Amber came back. She broke up with her boyfriend and returned from the US like nothing happened.

And Hudson? He went back to her without hesitation. No explanation. No guilt. Nothing.

He took her out to eat, went shopping with her, stayed by her side like she was the only thing that mattered in the world. He even canceled meetings, important ones, the kind he used to say could never be moved. All because she said she was in a bad mood.

I stood by the window one night and watched his car drive away again. Same direction. Same place. Her place.

I didnt cry this time. I just watched.

And finally understood.

Love was love. Real love didnt change. No matter how much I gave, how much I tried, how much I broke myself into something smaller and quieter and easier to keep it would never compare to one look from her. Not even close.

Five years. It was almost over.

Why arent you saying anything?

His voice snapped me out of it. I blinked and looked at him, my throat tightening like something was stuck there.

He didnt remember?

For five years, Id been counting down every single day, scared that when the time came, hed just walk away without even looking back. But now he stood there like none of it existed. Like that agreement meant nothing.

Did it ever mean anything to him?

I parted my lips, about to remind him, to say it out loud before I lost the courage again but his phone rang.

He picked it up right away.

I couldnt hear clearly, but I knew that voice. Amber. She was crying, choking on her words, panicking about something.

Hudsons expression changed instantly. His whole body tensed, like nothing else in the world mattered anymore.

Hey, hey dont panic, his voice dropped, low and urgent. Im coming right now. Stay there. Dont move, you hear me?

He didnt even wait for a reply. The call ended and he grabbed his keys, already moving.

Hudson, I

I didnt even finish.

He rushed past me and his shoulder slammed into mine so hard I lost my balance. My back hit the door frame and a sharp pain shot through me. I let out a small sound, something between a gasp and a groan.

But he didnt stop.

Didnt look back.

Didnt even notice.

The door closed and he was gone.

Just like that.

I stayed there for a few seconds, leaning against the wall, trying to breathe through the pain. Then I slowly pushed myself up and walked back to the bedroom.

I took off my coat and saw the bruise already forming on my shoulder. Dark. Ugly.

I opened the first aid kit and cleaned it quietly, pressing the cotton against my skin. It stung, but it was nothing compared to what was inside my chest.

That felt like something dull was slicing through it slowly, over and over again.

I sat on the edge of the bed and stared out the window. The sky was getting darker, the city lights coming on one by one.

I dont even know how long I stayed like that. Until my phone rang.

Hudson.

I hesitated for a second then picked up.

Come to the Favilla hospital, he said, straight to the point.

My heart skipped. What happened?

Well talk when you get here.

The line went dead.

...

When I arrived, I saw him right away. He was standing outside the operating room. And Amber she was pressed against him, crying like her whole world was falling apart.

My steps slowed.

Something tightened in my chest again, like a hand squeezing too hard.

I still walked over.

What happened? I asked softly.

Hudson looked at me, his expression serious. Ambers mother collapsed earlier. Its a severe blood disorder. Her bodys failing fast. She needs a bone marrow transplant immediately.

I froze. And?

We checked everywhere, he continued, calm like he was talking about business. No match. So I had them run a test on you secretly.

Something inside me dropped.

And? My voice barely came out.

Youre a match.

For a second, I just stared at him.

Y-you want me to donate? I asked, my fingers curling slightly. Hudson I cant. Im scared of needles, I dont even this is surgery, its risky, I

I didnt call you here to complain, he cut me off, his tone turning cold. Dont start that shit with me.

Im not complaining, I just Im scared, okay? My voice shook and I hated it. Cant you find someone else? Please, I really cant do this

Before I could step back, two of his men moved. They grabbed my arms.

Hard.

I flinched, panic rising in my chest. Let go! What are you doing?

Hudson stepped closer, his shadow falling over me. His eyes were dark, unreadable, like there was no room for refusal.

Im your husband, he said, voice low and dangerous. And youll do exactly what I say.

My heart dropped.

Your life is mine, he continued, his grip tightening on my chin, forcing me to look at him. So youre donating. Dont make me repeat myself.

For a moment, I couldnt breathe. Was I even a person to him? Or just something he owned? My eyes burned but I forced it back, swallowing everything down like I always did.

Okay, I whispered.

The men let go of me.

Ill sign.

The nurse handed me the form. My hands were shaking, but I still took the pen.

Stroke by stroke, I wrote my name. Each line felt heavy. Like I was carving something into my own heart. And I smiled a little, just enough so no one would notice the tears I was trying so hard to hide.

Just before they pushed me in, I couldnt hold it in anymore.

Hudson!

My voice came out weaker than I wanted. He stopped and turned his head slightly, eyes cold, like Id just interrupted something unimportant. For a second, I forgot everything I wanted to say.

My lips trembled. Then I forced out the only thing I could.

Nothing.

His eyes flickered, just a little. I thought maybe, just maybe But he didnt say anything.

He turned and walked outside. The doors closed right in front of me. And that was it. The moment they shut, my vision blurred and the tears Id been holding back just fell. Quiet. Helpless.

So this was how deep his love went.

Deep enough to throw me onto an operating table without hesitation. Deep enough that even if it was my life, he wouldnt care.

When I woke up, everything felt heavy. My body, my head, even my breathing. It was like I was floating somewhere between awake and not.

The lights were too bright. My throat felt dry.

Youre awake? a nurses voice came gently beside me.

I blinked slowly, turning my head. Mm yeah

How are you feeling? Dizzy? Pain anywhere?

A little, I whispered. I-is the surgery done?

She smiled. Yes. It went well. The patient is stable now and recovering.

Good.

That meant she was okay.

I swallowed, my chest feeling strangely empty. Hudson, where is he?

The nurse paused for a second, then said casually, Mr. Hayes? Hes with his wife and her mother right now.

My heart stopped.

His wife?

Oh.

Right.

I stared at the ceiling, not saying anything. The nurse didnt notice. She just kept talking, even giggling a little.

Honestly, I was watching them earlier and I got so jealous, she said, her eyes lighting up. They look like such a perfect couple!

I didnt move.

Mr. Hayes was so attentive, she continued, almost dreamy. He kept holding his wifes hand and talking to her softly. You wouldnt even guess hes someone so powerful.

Each word felt like something pressing deeper into me.

And the way he looked at her, she added, smiling. Gosh, it was so sweet. I mean, you can really tell he loves her a lot.

I closed my eyes slowly.

Even when the doctor came out, he didnt leave her side, she said again, laughing quietly. He kept comforting her, like she was the one who just went through surgery. If I had a husband like that, Id never let him go.

I let out a small breath. So that was how it looked from the outside. A loving husband. A devoted man.

And me? What was I?

I forced a small smile, even though no one was looking.

Thats good, I murmured. As long as shes okay.

I lay there staring at the ceiling, my hand hooked to the IV, the slow drip the only thing keeping time. My body still felt heavy and numb, like it didnt belong to me anymore.

The nurse had just left when the door opened again.

I thought it's Hudson but it wasn't.

Amber walked in.

She looked soft, fragile, eyes still a little red like shed been crying for hours. In her hands was a basket of fruit, neatly wrapped like this was some kind of polite visit.

Ms. Hereford she said gently, stepping closer. Im really sorry. I didnt mean to trouble you like this again.

I looked at her but didnt say anything.

She placed the basket down and gave me a small smile. Thank you. Really if it wasnt for you, my mom wouldnt have made it. You saved her.

Her voice softened, almost sweet but it's fake.

Thank you for being such a devoted slave to my husband I mean devoted wife to Hudson.

My fingers twitched slightly on the blanket.

Slave?

Do you want some apples? she asked, already reaching for one. Ill peel it for you.

Im fine, I said quietly.

She didnt stop.

The knife slid against the apple skin in slow, careful strokes. The sound was soft, almost soothing. Almost.

I really didnt expect she continued, her voice turning distant, like she was drifting somewhere else. After all these years, hes still like that with me.

My chest tightened.

What do you mean? I asked, even though I wasnt sure I wanted to hear it.

She let out a small laugh, shaking her head. He just never changed.

The peel fell in one long strip as she spoke.

Last year, I mentioned once that I liked this limited edition watch, she said casually. I didnt even remember saying it. But a week later, he flew overseas just to get it for me. It wasnt even available locally.

My fingers slowly curled.

He showed up at my place in the middle of the night, she added, smiling faintly. But I was still mad at him back then, so I didnt even let him in. I told him to leave and threw the box back at him.

Her tone was light. Like it was nothing. Like his effort was something she could just throw away.

My mind went blank for a second.

Because I remembered. That same time. He told me he had a business trip abroad. Three days. When he came back, he handed me a watch. Just like that. No explanation. No emotion.

Take it, he said. Saw it. Thought it suited you.

Id been so happy. I didnt even wear it. I kept it safe, tucked away like something precious I didnt deserve to ruin.

And now? It was just something she didnt want. I didnt realize my nails were digging into my palm until it started to hurt.

Amber didnt notice. Or maybe she did and just didnt care.

And there was this one time, she continued, peeling another strip, her voice softening again. I got into a fight with my ex. It was really bad. I blocked everyone, and disappeared for a few days.

She glanced at me, like she was about to share something intimate.

Hudson went crazy trying to find me. When he did, he dragged me out of that place himself. He was so angry, I thought he was going to kill someone. She laughed lightly. He kept cursing, saying, You think you can just disappear on me like that? Ill tear this whole city apart if I have to.

My heart twisted. I remembered that night too.

New Year's Eve.

He came home late. Different. Rough. Like something inside him had snapped. He didnt say much. Just claimed me in, over and over again, like he couldnt stop.

I thought

I thought maybe he finally wanted me. That maybe, he was starting to feel something.

I was so stupid.

The next morning, when I woke up, the bed beside me was already cold. I told myself he had urgent business. That was normal, right?

But now? Now I know. He wasnt busy. He was running to her. Always her.

Amber finished peeling the apple and finally handed it to me. Here.

I didnt take it.

She didnt mind. She just set it down beside me and looked at me with that same soft, harmless expression.

Youre really kind, Ms. Hereford, she said gently. Staying by his side all these years, taking care of him like that.

Her eyes lingered on me, something unreadable passing through them.

But some things she added quietly, no matter how hard you try, they just dont belong to you.

I lowered my gaze to my hand, the IV needle still buried in my skin.

Yeah.

I think I finally understood that.

After I got discharged, I went home and packed everything quietly. Clothes. Jewelry. Things I barely touched. Things I once thought mattered. I didnt take much. What was the point? I was just waiting. Waiting for the divorce to finalize. Waiting for it all to end.

During those days, Amber kept sending me messages. Not even hiding it. Videos. Photos. One after another. At first I didnt open them. Then I did. I dont even know why. Maybe I wanted to hurt myself properly. Maybe I just needed to see it with my own eyes.

Hudson stayed by her side the whole time. Not for a moment did he leave. In one video, he was sitting beside her hospital bed, carefully feeding her fruit, peeling everything clean like it was something precious. In another, he was adjusting her blanket, his movements slow, patient gentle. Gentle. I stared at the screen for a long time. Was this the same man? The same man who never even looked at me twice?

Then another message came. A video.

Look, Miss Hereford, Amber said, her face filling the screen as she turned the camera.

Hudson was there, talking to a doctor, his expression serious, controlled. That same cold aura. That same power.

He sent my mom abroad for treatment, she continued casually. Paid for everything. Even bought her a house there. Theres a maid, a private doctor everythings arranged. She laughed a little. Hes really something, right?

My fingers tightened around my phone.

Miss Hereford, Im sorry for taking your husband for now, okay? she added, voice soft, almost teasing. He just missed me too much. He loves me so much, I cant even push him away. Her smile didnt change. You cant really compete with that, can you?

The screen went dark. I didnt realize I was crying until the tears hit my hand. Drop by drop. I wiped them away quickly, taking a shaky breath.

Over the years, I did all those things too. He had a bad stomach, so I woke up early every day to cook for him. I waited for him with the lights on, no matter how late it got. I peeled his fruit, cut everything into small pieces so he wouldnt even have to think. I gave him everything. And now he was doing all of that for someone else.

I closed my eyes and let out a slow breath. Its fine, I whispered to myself. Itll be over soon. Right? Once I stop loving him, Ill be okay. Ill take care of myself. I have to.

...

A week later, he suddenly came home. I was surprised when I saw him. Shouldnt he be with her?

Get changed, he said, already loosening his tie. Were having dinner at home tonight.

Okay.

I didnt ask anything. I just went upstairs and changed.

At the dinner, everything felt normal. Too normal. People were laughing, talking, raising their glasses like this was just another gathering. Then the topic shifted.

Youve been married five years now. Its about time you had a child.

Yeah, Hudsons the head of the family now. There needs to be an heir.

Mika, you should hurry up.

I kept my head down, fingers brushing against the rim of my glass. A child? With him? Did I even have that right?

No rush, Hudson said.

His voice wasnt loud, but it cut through everything. The whole room went silent. Everyone exchanged looks but no one dared say anything else. Not to him. Not anymore. The atmosphere turned stiff after that and the dinner ended quickly.

Mika, Mrs. Hayes said sharply as we stood. Come with me to the study.

I knew what that meant. Anyone could see it. A warning. About children. About my place.

If youve got something to say, say it in front of me, Hudson said, frowning.

Before she could respond, his phone rang. He glanced at the screen and his expression changed immediately.

Amber? he answered, already stepping aside. Whats wrong? Did something happen?

His voice it wasnt the same voice he used with me. Not even close.

Mrs. Hayes let out a cold snort. Come with me.

I pressed my lips together and followed her without a word. As soon as the study door closed, her face changed. All that fake calm from dinner disappeared.

Kneel.

I didnt argue. I just went down slowly, my knees hitting the cold marble. It stung, but I was already used to that kind of pain.

Do you know where you went wrong? she asked, looking down at me like I was something dirty.

I lowered my eyes and stayed quiet.

A loud bang hit the table. You stupid girl! she snapped, her voice sharp and cold. Hudson said hes not in a hurry to have a child and you just sat there? You didnt even try to change his mind?

My fingers curled slightly. Was I supposed to beg him? Force him? Didnt he already make it clear I meant nothing?

She opened a drawer and took out a small bottle, then slammed it in front of me. Drink this. Its a fertility tonic. Starting today, you take it every day and you sleep with him until you get pregnant. I dont care what it takes.

I stared at the bottle. In the past, I wouldve taken it without a word. But now I wont take it, I said quietly.

The room went still.

What did you just say? her voice dropped, dangerous.

I wont take it, I repeated, lifting my head slightly. He doesnt want a child right now. Im respecting that. That was the truth. Every time we were together, he made sure there were precautions, and if something slipped, hed make me take pills right after. I used to think that maybe he just wasnt ready yet. Now I knew. He just didnt want one with me. And if I was leaving, why would I tie myself to him forever?

Youve got some nerve?!" she said slowly, eyes narrowing. Say that again.

I wont take it.

Her expression twisted. Youve gone too far! she shouted. As his wife, you cant even do your duty? You cant even give him a child? And you let him waste himself on that woman. All that effort, all that time, all for her and her damn family. You didnt stop him once.

My chest tightened. Stop him? When had I ever had that power?

She turned her head slightly. Bring it.

A servant stepped forward and handed her a thick leather strap. Dark. Heavy. The kind they used for punishment. My body tensed.

Ill ask you one last time, she said, gripping it tightly. Are you going to take the medicine or not?

I shook my head.

The sound came before the pain.

CRACK!

A sharp crack filled the room, then it hit. My back arched as the pain exploded across my skin, burning and tearing at the same time. I bit my lip hard to stop myself from crying out.

Answer me. Are you taking it or not?

I shook my head again.

Another strike. And another. Each one landed harder than the last. My body trembled, my hands pressing against the floor as I tried to stay upright.

Through the glass window, I could see outside. Hudson was there. Standing in the garden. His back facing this room. One hand in his pocket, the other holding his phone. His posture relaxed, like nothing in the world could touch him.

Then he laughed. Low, soft.

Amber, I heard faintly through the glass.

Of course. Who else?

Since you dont understand, Mrs. Hayes said coldly behind me, raising the strap again, then Ill beat it into you.

The leather cut through the air and landed again. My vision started to blur. Pain spread everywhere, hot and overwhelming. I could feel something wet soaking through my clothes but I didnt look.

I w-won't, my voice came out weak, barely there. I wont take it

Another strike. My body gave out and I collapsed forward, barely able to hold myself up.

Through my fading vision, I saw him again. Still standing there. Still talking. Still not turning around. Not even once.

A small, broken thought crossed my mind. Was I ever anything to him? Or was I just someone he could lose without noticing?

Everything started going dark. And just before I lost consciousness, I felt something strange.

Relief.

Maybe this was good. Maybe after this, I wouldnt feel anything for him anymore.

When I woke up, I was already in a hospital bed. Everything felt heavy, and my back burned the moment I tried to breathe a little deeper.

Mr. Hayes, the injuries are quite severe, someone beside me said. The leather strikes cut deep. Some areas reached the dermis. Itll take time to heal.

Then use the best damn medicine, Hudsons voice came, low and cold. I dont care what it costs. Get the best doctors and make sure she doesnt get scared.

Yes, of course.

Footsteps faded, and the room went quiet.

I slowly opened my eyes.

He was there.

Standing beside the bed, looking down at me.

When he realized I was awake, he moved closer, his brows slightly furrowed. You awake? How are you feeling?

I tried to shift, but the pain hit instantly, sharp and burning. I sucked in a breath and forced a small voice out. Im fine, there are people here to take care of things. If youve got something to do, you should go.

I expected him to leave.

He didnt.

Instead, he sat down beside the bed, his gaze staying on me like he was thinking about something he couldnt say.

Why didnt you call me? he asked after a moment. When she was doing that to you why didnt you call me?

My fingers tightened slightly under the blanket.

I remembered him outside.

Back turned. Laughing softly into his phone.

I saw you were busy, I said quietly, a small bitter smile slipping out.

Then I looked at him. If I called you, would you really come right away?

Of course I would, he said without hesitation.

I froze.

That wasnt what I expected.

Not at all.

Ive already handled it, he continued, his tone calmer now. No ones going to bother you about having a child again. That shits over.

I understand. I lowered my eyes. Then you should go. You dont have to stay.

He frowned slightly. Why do you keep pushing me away?

I blinked, a little confused. Arent you busy?

Busy with everything. Busy with her.

Im not busy lately, he said. Then he reached out and adjusted the blanket around me, his movements careful, almost gentle. Ill stay here for a few days. Take care of you.

I didnt know what to say to that. It felt wrong. Like something that didnt belong to me. But he really stayed.

...

The next few days, he didnt leave the hospital.

He adjusted my bed when I couldnt move, fed me when my hands felt too weak, even helped with my dressings like it didnt bother him at all. A man like him doing this?

Sometimes I caught myself just staring at him. Was this real? Or was I dreaming again?

One night, the pain got so bad I couldnt sleep. It kept spreading across my back, making every breath feel heavy.

He noticed.

Cant sleep? he asked quietly.

I didnt answer, just closed my eyes tighter.

Then I felt it.

His hand, slow and steady, lightly patting my back. Careful. Gentle. Like he was afraid to hurt me more.

Its alright, he murmured. Just sleep.

Again and again, the same rhythm.

That kind of warmth, it felt so familiar. Like those rare moments before everything broke. For a second, I almost wanted to believe it again. But I didnt. I couldnt. I already decided. I was leaving. And this time, I wouldnt look back.

A week passed, and the marks on my back finally started to fade. Not gone, but lighter.

When he was applying the medicine that day, his fingers brushed too close and I let out a small sound before I could stop it. He froze. I turned, confused, and saw his eyes on me, dark and heavy, his throat moving slowly like he was holding something back.

Did I hurt you? he asked, but his voice sounded rough, not like before.

No I just I tried to speak but he moved closer. Too close. His hand settled on my waist, firm, like he wasnt even thinking anymore.

Hudson I whispered, my heart starting to race.

He didnt answer. His breathing got heavier, his gaze dropping to my lips. His face leaned closer, slow, like he was about to cross a line

Smack!

We both turned.

Amber stood at the door, her eyes red, the fruit basket already on the floor, everything scattered. Her lips trembled. Did I come at the wrong time? I didnt know you two were She bit her lip, like she couldnt even finish.

Hudson pulled away from me instantly. Amber, stop thinking nonsense! Its not what it looks like. I was just helping her with the medicine, thats it.

Before I could react, he shoved me away.

Hard.

I lost balance and fell straight off the bed, the back of my head hitting the sharp edge of the table with a dull crack. Pain exploded and something warm started running down.

Im sorry! I didnt mean to ruin your moment. Ambers voice broke as she turned. Ill go, you dont have to explain

Amber! Hudson didnt even hesitate. Wait, listen to me. Dont run off like this. His voice turned urgent, almost angry. Damn it, stop right there.

He ran after her.

Didnt look at me.

Not once.

The door slammed and everything went quiet again.

I stayed on the floor, my vision slowly blurring. Blood slid down past my temple, warm and sticky. I stared at the ceiling and suddenly laughed, soft and broken.

Why did I even hope?

Tears slipped into my hair. Wasnt I used to this already?

By the time the nurse found me, everything was fading. Voices sounded far away.

Head injury! Shes bleeding a lot, call the doctor now!

Then darkness.

When I woke up again, my head hurt and everything felt heavy. Because of the injury, I had to stay longer. Hudson never came back. Not once. But I knew why. He was with her. Of course he was. I didnt call him. Didnt text. What was the point?

On the day I was getting discharged, the housekeeper called. Miss Mika, about Mr. Hayes birthday banquet this year, how would you like to arrange it?

I held the phone and stayed quiet for a while.

Birthday.

I used to handle it every year. His family never cared about things like that. Power, money, business thats all they saw. Not him.

I remembered the first birthday I attended. Everything looked perfect, but there was food he couldnt eat. Something that could trigger a reaction. I saw him later, alone, taking medicine quietly.

Why didnt you just tell them? I asked back then, my chest tight.

What for? he said, not even looking at me. They dont give a shit about that. As long as the companys running, thats enough for them.

From then on, I took over. Every dish, every detail, everything he liked and avoided. I made sure he never had to deal with that again.

Miss Mika? the housekeeper called again.

I closed my eyes for a second. Ill handle it.

This was the last time.

After the divorce someone else would do it.

Not me anymore.

I prepared everything the same way I always did. Careful. Quiet. Like it still mattered. But this time, I made the housekeeper follow me the whole day, step by step, making her remember everything.

The cake should be a vanilla berry one. He doesnt like anything too heavy and sweet, it makes him sick after a few bites.

And listen, decorations should be white lilies, not red. He hates anything too loud, says it looks cheap.

Dont put whiskey on the main table. He drinks it, yeah, but it gives him headaches if he hasnt eaten properly.

I paused, then added softly, You need to remember all of this. Next time, youll be the one handling it. Dont mess it up.

The housekeeper looked confused. Madam wont you still be the one arranging it next year?

I didnt answer.

Next time I wont even be here.

How could I?

On the day of the banquet, everything looked perfect. Lights everywhere, soft music, people laughing like this house actually had warmth in it. I stood at the entrance in a light blue dress, greeting guests one by one, smiling like I always did. Like I wasnt already gone inside.

Then he walked in.

Hudson.

And beside him was Amber.

Her arm hooked around his, leaning into him like she belonged there. She wore something soft and pretty, pale pink, light like she was fragile. She looked up at him, smiling. And he looked back.

God he looked back.

That was when I understood.

He already fixed everything with her.

Of course he did.

His eyes never left her the whole night. When her glass got empty, he noticed right away.

Dont give her that, he said, voice low but firm. Get her something lighter. She doesnt drink much.

When her dress shifted a little, he frowned and called someone over.

Fix it properly. Dont let it drag.

She laughed at something, eyes curved, soft and he actually smiled. Not that cold, distant smile. A real one.

I stood there watching for a second too long.

Then I looked away.

What was I even expecting?

He never looked at me.

Not once.

I moved to the side, greeting people like I was just part of the staff.

When it was time to open gifts, people brought out all kinds of expensive things. Jewelry, rare pieces, things worth more than most peoples lives. Then mine was brought out. A custom-made fountain pen. Simple, elegant, something I chose carefully because he once said he preferred things like that. Quiet. Useful.

The butler placed it on a tray.

Mrs. Hayes really understands Mr. Hayes taste, someone said with a smile. This kind of piece isnt flashy but it fits him perfectly.

Yeah, its refined. Just like him.

Hudson glanced at it, then at me.

For a second, I thought

Thanks, he said casually.

That was it.

Then Ambers gift was brought out.

A small box.

Inside was a handmade leather bracelet. The stitching was uneven, rough in some places, like it wasnt done by a professional.

The room went quiet.

Then someone laughed softly.

Seriously? People still give things like this?

Looks cheap. I dont think Mr. Hayes would even touch that.

Who even let her in here dressed like that, bringing something like this?

Ambers face went pale. She stepped back slightly, like she wanted to disappear.

Hudsons expression darkened instantly. He picked up the bracelet and the room went silent. Without hesitation, he slipped it onto his wrist.

I like this, he said, his voice low but sharp enough to cut through everyone. At least this one means something. Someone actually put time into it.

No one spoke.

Then his gaze shifted to the pen. He picked it up, looked at it for a second, then let out a quiet scoff.

This kind of thing he said coldly, you can buy it anywhere. Theres nothing special about it.

My chest tightened.

Before I could even react, he tossed it straight into the trash. The sound echoed louder than it should have.

The whole hall went quiet for a second, then suddenly everyone started agreeing.

Mr. Hayes is right, handmade things actually mean something.

Yeah, expensive stuff is nothing if theres no heart behind it.

This is way more special, you can tell she put effort into it.

I just stood there.

It felt like all the blood in my body turned cold. I spent three months on that gift. Flying around, checking stores, comparing designs, choosing something I thought hed actually like.

And now?

Thrown away like it was nothing.

Just to make her look good.

But wasnt this always how it went?

He could drop everything for her, cancel meetings like they didnt matter. But my birthday? He couldnt even remember the date. She got sick and he stayed up all night taking care of her. I had a fever once, burning for hours and he didnt even call. She said one word and hed fly across the world. I asked him to have dinner once and he said he was busy.

Every time he chose her.

Every single time.

Just like tonight.

I pressed a hand lightly to my chest. It used to hurt so much here. So much I thought I couldnt breathe.

But now

It was quiet.

Empty.

So this was what it felt like when you finally stopped loving someone?

All that pain, all that waiting it just disappeared like it never mattered.

Then everyone gathered around Amber. The same people who mocked her earlier were now smiling, praising her, trying to get close.

I stood in the corner and smiled a little.

Thats how it works here.

One look from him and everyone follows.

It didnt matter.

After the divorce, hed probably bring her into the family properly anyway. This was just the beginning.

The banquet ended slowly. Guests left one by one. I stood at the door, smiling, saying goodbye like I always did.

Perfect.

Polite.

Like I was still Mrs. Hayes. Only when the last guest left did I finally breathe out a little.

When I turned around, they were still there.

Hudson and Amber.

It was raining hard outside. Cold wind rushed in, damp and sharp. Amber shivered suddenly and sneezed.

Hudson frowned right away. Youre cold?

Im fine just a little, she said softly, but her voice sounded weak.

Fine my ass, he muttered, already taking off his suit jacket and placing it over her shoulders. Youre shaking. Dont act tough.

She held it close, still trembling a little.

Its still cold

His eyes moved.

Then they landed on me. On the scarf wrapped around my neck. A soft wool scarf. The last thing my grandmother made before she passed.

Give that to her, he said.

My fingers tightened instantly.

T-this was made by my grandma, I said quietly, my voice barely steady. Its not something I can just

I know exactly what it is, he cut me off, his tone turning colder. Shes just borrowing it. Why are you making it such a big deal?

My throat felt tight. I held the scarf for a second longer and slowly, I took it off. My hands felt cold the moment it left my skin.

I stepped forward and handed it over.

Amber took it, her expression soft, almost guilty.

Thank you Ill clean it and give it back to you.

No, I said quickly, shaking my head. Dont wash it yourself. It cant be soaked. It needs special care. Ill have someone pick it up tomorrow.

Oh okay, she nodded gently.

The car pulled up outside.

Hudson glanced at her again, noticing her pale face.

Then he looked at me.

Ambers not feeling well, he said, already opening the car door for her. Im taking her home first. Its not on the way for you, so just go back yourself.

I didnt even get the chance to answer.

He helped her into the car, careful, like she might break.

The car door shut, the engine started, and the black sedan disappeared into the rain like I was never there. I stood at the entrance, my dress getting soaked, the cold wind cutting straight through me. The streets were empty, rain pouring so hard it blurred everything. I waited and waited. Forty minutes before I could even get a cab. By the time I got home, I was shaking, completely drenched, my head spinning. My forehead burned but I still forced myself to take some medicine, then I just dropped onto the bed and passed out.

Sometime in the night, my phone kept vibrating. Again and again. I heard it but I couldnt move. My head hurt too much, my body too heavy. I just let it ring until it finally stopped.

The next morning, the fever went down a little, but my throat felt like sandpaper. I sat up slowly, took a sip of water, then reached for my phone. There were more than a dozen messages.

All from Amber.

My fingers paused then I opened it.

The first photo hit me like a slap.

My scarf.

The soft wool scarf my grandma made was completely soaked, twisted, ruined. The texture looked wrong, clumped and stretched like it was destroyed.

More messages popped up.

Oh my god Im so sorry, I forgot wool cant be soaked so I just left it in water when I got home.

I feel really bad how much was it? Ill pay you back. The materials nice though, maybe I can reuse it and turn it into something else.

If youre not replying Ill just assume its fine, okay? Ill send you 2 dollars. Since you said your grandma made it, it shouldnt be that expensive right?

The last photo loaded.

My hands started shaking.

The scarf was cut.

Not just ruined but cut into pieces. Strips. Like someone took their time destroying it.

My chest tightened and something snapped inside me.

I threw the covers off and got up, not caring that my body still felt weak. I grabbed my coat and walked out.

When I got to her place, I didnt even hesitate. I rang the doorbell hard, my fingers cold but steady.

The door opened.

Amber stood there, wearing something simple, her face soft and surprised. Ms. Hereford? You came all the way here? Is something wrong?

Wheres my scarf? I asked, my voice flat.

She blinked, then turned casually and picked something up from the couch. The pieces. You mean this? I already paid you for it, didnt I?

She glanced at her phone. Oh, you didnt accept the transfer? Was it too little? I can add more. I mean it was handmade by an elderly person, it shouldnt be that expensive, right? Ill send you another 2 dollars, okay? It's not really worth it by way.

Something burned in my chest.

Before I even thought My hand moved.

Smack!

The sound was loud in the quiet room.

She stumbled back, holding her face, eyes wide. You you hit me?

You did it on purpose, didnt you? I said, my voice shaking but sharp. You soaked it, you cut it, you sent those messages like you didnt know. You think Im stupid?

Her eyes filled with tears instantly. What are you talking about? I really didnt mean to, I was just careless

Careless? I laughed, but it sounded wrong. You came back on purpose. You called him at the exact time your mom needed surgery and forced him to make me donate. You stood outside that room and said all those things. You walked in at that exact moment. And now this?

I stepped closer. How many things did you plan? How many times did you think I wouldnt fight back?

I didnt she shook her head, tears falling faster. I really dont understand why youre saying all this

I see through you, I said quietly. I just didnt bother saying it before. But that doesnt mean you get to keep stepping on me like this.

Her expression flickered for a second, just a second.

Then

A voice cut through the room.

Cold. Low. Dangerous.

Mikayla what the hell are you doing?

My body went stiff.

I turned around.

Hudson stood at the door, his eyes dark and terrifying. But when he looked at her

His voice changed.

Amber, he said, stepping forward quickly, his tone softening. What happened? Why are you crying?

Amber sniffed, tears falling as she spoke, her voice shaking like she was about to break. She twisted the story just enough, soft and pitiful, and I watched his face grow colder with every word.

Then he turned to me.

Its just a scarf, he said, his voice flat, sharp. Why the hell did you have to hit her over something like that?

My chest tightened. Just a scarf? My voice shook before I could stop it. Hudson! Thats the only thing my grandma left me. The only one.

He paused.

Just for a second.

Like he didnt expect that.

In five years I never raised my voice at him. Not once. But now my hands were shaking, my eyes burning, and I didn't even recognize myself.

Amber didnt do it on purpose, he said, his tone softening when he looked back at her. She already paid you, didnt she? What more do you want? If the moneys not enough, Ill handle it.

Handle it.

Like everything could be fixed with money.

He pulled out his checkbook, wrote something fast, then held it out to me. Take it. That should cover it.

I stared at the check.

My chest felt tight, like something was squeezing it slowly, making it hard to breathe.

I didnt move.

He frowned, annoyed, then tore another check and wrote a bigger number, his jaw tightening. Not enough? Fine. Then take this. Stop making a scene over something so small.

One after another.

More numbers.

More money. Like he was buying silence. Buying me.

My fingers finally moved. I took the last check, my hand trembling.

Thats enough, I said quietly.

More than enough.

Hudson this is enough to end everything between us.

I turned to leave.

But I barely took two steps.

Stop. His voice cut through me like a blade.

I froze.

You took the money, he said slowly, dangerously calm. That slap isnt settled yet. Apologize to her.

My body stiffened. I turned back, my eyes burning. What did you say?

I said, apologize, he repeated, his gaze cold. Dont make me say it twice.

What if I dont? My voice shook, but I still asked.

His expression didnt change. Then maybe the cooperation between your family and mine needs to be reconsidered. You understand what I mean, right?

My heart dropped. So this was it? He was using my family now. Everything they worked for he could crush it with one word.

The room went silent.

For a few seconds, I couldnt hear anything.

Then slowly, I lowered my head.

Im sorry, I said, my voice hoarse.

Amber covered her cheek, looking at me through tears. Ms. Hereford are you really apologizing? Or is this just how people like you say sorry? It doesnt feel real

My fists clenched.

My nails dug into my palms.

Then I bent down.

Deep.

Im sorry, I said again, my voice breaking but clear. I shouldnt have hit you. It was my fault. Please forgive me.

Hudson didnt say anything.

Amber sniffed softly. I still dont feel sincerity

Mikayla, Hudson said, his voice colder now. Dont even think about leaving until you apologize properly.

My lips trembled.

Im sorry, I said again, biting down hard so I wouldnt cry. It wont happen again. I swear.

I straightened slowly and looked at him. Is this enough?

For a second he just stared at me.

Something flickered in his eyes.

Like he remembered something.

Maybe the past.

But it disappeared just as fast.

Thats enough, he said coldly.

I nodded once.

Then I turned and walked out.

Didnt look back.

Behind me, I heard his voice again but it wasnt for me.

Does it still hurt? he said softly. Come here, Ill put some medicine on it. Dont move.

Ambers voice came, quiet and weak. It does be gentle, okay

I kept walking.

Tears fell, but I wiped them away fast.

Like they never existed.

The next few days, he didnt come home. And I didnt call. Not once.

On the day everything became official, I went alone. Signed the papers, took the document, listened to the clerk say it was finalized. When they handed it to me, I just stared at it for a second, my fingers brushing over the words.

Divorce.

That was it. No tears. No pain. Nothing.

It was still early when I left. I got a cab and went back to the house, just to grab the last of my things. But the moment I opened the door, I froze.

He was there. Standing in the living room like he owned the air.

Where the hell did you go? Hudson asked, his voice low, eyes locking on me the second I stepped in.

I opened my mouth. Did I tell him? Did I just say it now?

Before I could speak, he let out a short breath, like he figured it out already.

You went out to get something, didnt you? For today.

I blinked. Today?

He frowned slightly. Dont tell me you forgot. Its our anniversary.

My chest tightened.

Anniversary. Huh! Our anniversary already happened last month.

Five years ago same day. We stood in front of everyone, exchanged rings, smiled like it meant something.

That night he handed me divorce papers. Told me not to take anything seriously.

Five years. Then it ends.

And now the day I got my divorce papers was the same day.

Funny.

Yeah, I said quietly, gripping my bag tighter. I went out to prepare something.

I did.

A divorce certificate. That counted, right?

He nodded like it was nothing. Good. At least you didnt forget this year.

This year.

Did he know this was also the day everything ended?

My thoughts felt messy, tangled, but I didnt say anything.

Im flying to Paris tomrrow," he continued, adjusting his cuff like he was talking about business. Taking Amber with me. Shes been wanting to go for a while.

Of course she did.

So I cleared today, he added, glancing at his watch. I booked a place. Rooftop, private, no bullshit interruptions. Well celebrate properly this time.

Properly.

Now?

After everything?

Ill give you your gift later, he said, already grabbing his jacket. Get ready. Were leaving.

He walked toward the door like it was already decided. Like I would follow.

I didnt move. Not even a step.

He stopped when he realized, then turned back, his brows pulling together. What are you doing? Dont just stand there.

I looked at him.

This man.

The one I waited for, loved, endured for five years.

Should I tell him now?

Should I just say its over?

My lips parted. But nothing came out.

After a few seconds, I lowered my gaze. I have something to finish. You go ahead. Ill follow later.

He stared at me for a moment, like he was trying to read something. Then he gave a short nod. Fine. Dont take too long.

And just like that, he left.

The door closed. His car started outside.

I walked to the window and watched as it drove away, slowly disappearing past the gate.

First time in five years he remembered our anniversary but one month late.

And the first time, I didnt care anymore.

I took the document out of my bag.

Brand new. Clean. Final.

I placed it on the table.

Then I picked up my suitcase. Everything I had left.

I walked to the door, paused for a second then opened it and stepped out.

This time, I didnt look back.