Loving Him Cost Me Everything

My boyfriend was always mixing up my name with his ex-girlfriend's.

When he cooked, he'd call out without thinking: Princess Claudie, grab your bowl and chopsticks, dinner's ready.

On the birthday gift he gave me, the card read Happy Birthday, Baby Claudie.

Even in our most intimate moments, he'd murmur against my ear, "Claudie, want me to be gentler?"

After the ten-thousandth time he got it wrong, the irritation I'd felt at first had dulled into resignation.

All I could do was turn his face toward mine, look him in the eyes, and correct him, over and over.

"My name is Ann Mason. Not Claudie."

Over time, before he said my name, Robert James would always pause to think for two full seconds.

Then he'd get those two syllables out, precisely: "Ann."

I thought he'd finally broken the habit.

Until later, when his one-that-got-away, Claudia Fox, joined the same company we worked at.

After that, the gift card at the company year-end party had her name written on it again, Claudia Fox.

The red roses delivered to the office, the recipient became Claudia Fox too.

Even when he proposed, down on one knee in front of me, the name he called was:

"Claudia Fox, will you marry me!"

That "I will" jammed in my throat, stuck halfway, unable to move up or down.

The excitement I'd felt drained away all at once.

All of a sudden, it just felt utterly pointless.

When Robert realized what he'd done, his face went blank for an instant.

He scrambled to his feet to call out to me, but he still hesitated two seconds before he could speak.

"Ann, I"

The irony spread through my chest.

Even in a moment like this, he still had to think before he could say my name.

I knew what he wanted to say.

That it was just habit, or maybe he was just too nervous.

Three years together, and I was sick of hearing lines like that.

I took a step back, away from his hand.

"There's no need to say anything more."

"Let's break up."

"No"

Robert tried to say something else.

But the coworkers nearby had heard the commotion and were crowding over.

When they saw the proposal, the whole crowd erupted.

"Oh my god, Director James is actually proposing during the company retreat!"

"Claudie, you and Director James are together? Why didn't you ever tell us?"

I turned around, and only then did I see Claudia standing a little ways off.

The trees by the path had blocked me from view completely.

From a distance, it really did look like Robert was kneeling in front of her.

Claudia had both hands clapped over her mouth, her eyes brimming with joy and disbelief.

The coworkers gathered around her, cheering and egging her on, pushing her toward Robert.

Someone passing by yanked hard at my arm.

"They're proposing, what are you standing in the middle for? Like a third wheel."

I stumbled.

My long dress was pinned underfoot, my carefully styled hair caught on someone's clothes, tugged until it stung.

I shoved my way out of the crowd, a mess.

When I lifted my head, the two of them were already encircled by ring after ring of people.

Claudia, in a white gauzy dress, stood at the center, like a bride waiting for happiness to descend.

And I was just like everyone around me, a nameless bystander watching their joy from the edge.

Across the crowd, I met Robert's eyes.

His gaze was complicated.

I watched his mouth open slightly, as if he wanted to explain.

But seeing Claudia so happy she was moved to tears, he swallowed every word.

Smiling, he slid the engagement ring meant for me onto her ring finger.

I tugged at the corner of my mouth, bitter, and made no scene, asked no questions.

I just quietly turned around and walked away from the celebration that should have been mine.

The sky had darkened, and the wind off the river was bone-chillingly cold.

I walked across the bridge alone.

I couldn't stop my mind from circling back to the rush I'd felt the day I accidentally stumbled onto Robert's proposal plan.

I'd booked the makeup artist a month in advance, hired someone to source the dress from overseas, spent eight hours getting my hair styled.

When the day finally came, I was so keyed up I didn't sleep a wink.

I'd hugged my blanket and let myself imagine the look on Robert's face when he proposed.

He was always so composed, so collected. Would he stumble over his words at the moment? Would his ears go red?

But no matter what, I would take the ring and throw myself into his arms.

And then I'd say it, loud and clear:

"I do!"

If the sunset over the river hit just right.

If the light gilded our silhouettes in gold, the way it does in the movies.

If some passerby happened to capture the moment.

I'd make it the cover of our wedding album, hang it in the most prominent spot in our future home.

The more I pictured it, the more I couldn't help laughing out loud, giddy and sweet.

"Honnnk"

A car horn jolted me back to reality.

Now, with my hair a tangled mess and dirty footprints all over my clothes.

I was walking alone under a darkened sky.

My phone buzzed.

A message from Robert.

Annie, I'm sorry.

I stopped walking.

But just let it go for now. Claudie already said yes in front of everyone. Don't make her look bad.

I'll explain to everyone later that it was the penalty from a game of Truth or Dare.

I stared at those few lines for a long time.

But I wasn't surprised.

From the second Robert called out the wrong name, I'd known exactly what he would do.

It was just like Valentine's Day, when he had the bouquet of red roses delivered to the office, and they "accidentally" ended up in Claudia's hands.

When I tried to take them back, he gently pressed my hand down.

"Sorry, Annie. I wrote the wrong recipient by mistake."

"Just let Claudie keep these flowers. Taking them back in front of everyone would embarrass her."

A message popped up in the company retreat group chat.

Director James is treating everyone to an engagement dinner. Meet at the second-floor restaurant of the hotel!

It wasn't a last-minute decision. It was part of the proposal plan.

And since he'd proposed to the wrong woman, then everything would just be handed off to Claudia, mistakes and all.

That was always how Robert did things.

Someone posted a photo of the dinner table.

The hotel's top-tier banquet spread, the main course king crab.

I'm allergic to seafood, and Robert could never seem to remember that.

But it happened to be Claudia's favorite.

Maybe this was fate steering him back onto the right track.

I closed the message and pulled up the rideshare app instead.

No matter what, I was choosing to walk away.

I went back to the apartment alone.

I pushed open the door, and the first thing I saw was the couple's photo on the cabinet by the entryway.

My steps stalled for a moment.

Robert hated being photographed. It had taken me forever to wear him down for this one.

I remembered the day we moved into this place, how I'd carried the photo around, turning in circles looking for the perfect spot.

Robert had watched me, exasperated.

"It's just one photo. Does it really matter where it goes?"

I'd turned around and shaken my head at him, dead serious.

"No. I want everyone who walks in to see it the very first second!"

The spot on the entryway cabinet, right by the door, was the one I'd picked after careful thought.

Open the door, and the light from the hallway would fall there first.

A declaration of just how happy the people who lived here were.

It was also my only comfort, the thing I came home to after working late into the night just to put down roots in this city.

But was I really happy?

I picked up the frame and traced it, inch by inch.

Even in a couple's photo, Robert still wore that same unsmiling, buttoned-up face.

The dozens of photos my coworkers had dumped in the group chat came flooding back.

In every single one, he had his arm around Claudia, smiling with a tenderness I'd never seen.

Maybe I was the only one who'd ever felt happy in this relationship.

I turned the photos face-down on the cabinet and started packing.

Clothes, shoes

It was only when I got to my jewelry that my hands stilled.

The necklace hanging in the most prominent spot on the stand was last year's birthday gift from Robert.

I thought about it, then dug out every gift we'd exchanged over the years.

If we were breaking up, there was no reason to keep them.

The first year, the second year.

Every gift had been matched, one for one.

Only the third year was missingthe anniversary gift and the Valentine's gift Robert was supposed to give me.

He'd entered the wrong recipient, and they'd all gone to Claudia instead.

I sent Robert a message.

I've already thrown out everything I gave you. The things you gave me are in the bedroom cabinet.

Do whatever you want with them.

When I finished packing, the message bar was still empty.

I opened the group chat. They were still going strong, just now wrapping up.

Claudia had posted to her social media feed.

You said she was settling, that she was an obligation, that you had no choice. It's okay. I'll wait for you, however long it takes

No replies, no likes. This was meant for me, and me alone.

I liked it, switched off my phone, and dragged my suitcase toward the door.

Whatever happened between them from here had nothing to do with me.

I opened the door and came face-to-face with Robert, breathless.

The sight of me seemed to relax him.

The next second, his brows knit again, his voice turning scolding.

"Why come back all of a sudden without saying a word? I was frantic, looking everywhere for you."

I didn't answer. I just found it absurd.

So frantic.

So frantic that he'd finished his dinner, walked Claudia through the entire evening, and only then found the time to come looking for me.

Robert squeezed his way in.

Under the apartment lights, he finally saw the suitcase in my hand.

His face changed.

"It's this late. Where do you think you're going?"

I looked at him, my face blank.

"Moving out. I'll come back later for the rest."

He didn't rush to stop me. Instead, impatience swept over him in an instant.

Just like the old days, after he'd called me by the wrong name and I'd lose my temper, making him swear over and over that he no longer loved his ex.

He drew in a deep breath, forced himself to be patient, and pulled the proposal ring from his pocket.

"Enough. I swear I only love you. Is that good enough?"

"Today really was an accident. I only treated my coworkers to dinner because I'd already paid the deposit and didn't want to waste it."

As though it had been nothing more than grabbing some street food with the team, he soothed me halfheartedly.

"I cleared everything up with Claudia, too. Look, I even got the proposal ring back."

"Let's just put this behind us."

Robert seized my hand and, without another word, shoved the ring onto my ring finger.

But it was far too loose.

The moment I lowered my hand, it slid right off, rolling straight to his feet.

The air went still for a beat.

Looking at his stunned face, I let out a mocking laugh.

"Another accident? You entered the wrong size when you ordered it?"

This ring had fit Claudia's hand like it had been measured for her.

For once, Robert looked a little guilty.

He picked up the ring, coughed a few times, trying to mask the awkwardness on his face.

"It was an accident. I'll have someone resize it later."

"Don't bother."

I cut him off, my voice cold.

"I meant it when I said we're breaking up. Let's just end it here."

Robert paused, then slowly set the ring back into its box.

He closed the lid, and the guilt drained out of his face, leaving behind that same flat expression.

"Annie, I told you, I'll have it resized."

He looked at me the way you'd look at a child throwing a tantrum.

"Breaking up over little things like this, threatening to walk out every timeit's honestly so pointless."

My breath caught for an instant.

In that moment, I remembered the night of the project's celebration dinner, when I'd won a week of paid vacation in the raffle.

I'd been overjoyed.

For the three months I'd gone without a single day off. For the parents I hadn't seen in two years.

But just as I'd booked my plane ticket, just as my parents had taken time off and were waiting for me to come home for the reunion

HR told me the prize had already been claimed.

"Director James came and redeemed it. He said you authorized it, and it went to that new intern in your department, Claudia Fox."

I confronted him with red-rimmed eyes.

Robert only glanced at me, then lowered his head without a care in the world.

"Is that so. I must have written the wrong name by accident."

"Then go get it back for me!"

When he just kept staring at his phone, I lunged forward in fury and snatched it from his hand.

What filled my eyes was Claudia's grid of social media posts.

Getting paid to go to a concert feels amazing. Thanks to a certain someone~

It hit me like a blow to the head.

Trembling, I held the phone up in front of Robert, my vision blurred by tears.

"Is this what you call writing the wrong name?"

Robert didn't explain. Instead, with an attitude bordering on cold indifference, he turned it around on me.

"It's already done. I'm just maximizing the return."

"Rewarding a subordinate appropriately strengthens my authority as a leader."

"Ann, you've been at this company long enough. Can't you look at the bigger picture?"

His pompous, self-righteous words drove me out of my mind.

That was the first time I brought up breaking up with Robert.

Even after he'd called me by the wrong name ten thousand times over, the thought had never once crossed my mind.

I stayed at a hotel for three days and didn't get a single message asking me to come back.

Only later did it dawn on meRobert was banking on the fact that I loved him too much.

Otherwise, how could I have forgiven him, time and time again, for calling me by the wrong name?

I'd even given up the steady job back home the moment I learned he'd broken up with his ex over the distance, crossing a thousand miles to his city to start over from scratch.

The day I lowered my head and came home, his face wore an expression of expectation fulfilled.

He took my suitcase and said flatly:

"Don't make a scene next time. Be more mature."

The Robert in front of me slowly merged with the Robert from that day.

But this time, I didn't want to bow my head.

I repeated it again, with certainty.

"I mean it. Let's break up."

The door slammed shut with a bang.

He left behind only one line.

"You're way too emotional right now. Go calm yourself down!"

I didn't care where he'd gone.

Claudia's social media post had already popped up, right on cue.

I knew it. I'm still your first choice.

That proposal ring slid back onto her finger, as if it had finally found its rightful owner.

I tapped a like.

Then I took one last look at this little home I'd decorated piece by piece, and gently closed the door.

The next day at work, the two of them arrived together.

The office broke into a chorus of congratulations.

I ignored it and kept my head down, handling my handover work.

Since joining the company, I'd closed deals worth over a hundred million in total.

Next week I'd be promoted to director, running a department of my own, never having to work alongside Robert again.

Picking up my files and standing, I met Robert's eyes across the room.

He opened his mouth, like he wanted to say something.

Calmly, I turned and walked the other way.

"Zoe Sullivan, here's my promotion paperwork. Take a look and tell me if anything's missing."

Zoe from HR flipped through the file, puzzled.

"Your department's promotion form was already submitted."

"What?"

I froze.

"Director James said that for that project, your department's intern, Claudia Fox, was the one who did the real work. He asked that the promotion slot go to her, that she be made permanent early and promoted to supervisor."

Department supervisor. That was my position. The one I held right now.

Robert wanted to take my results, my work, and use them to pave the way for his ex.

My phone buzzed.

I looked down. A message from him.

Claudie took the heat on that mix-up for us. When it got cleared up, it must've been humiliating for her.

Just think of this as our way of making it up to her. We can talk about your promotion later.

I stared at the screen, a boundless fury rising in my chest.

Fury at Robert's shamelessness.

And even more fury that I'd once loved him so much I lost myself, which was the only reason he could treat my feelings like they meant nothing.

But this time, I wasn't going to swallow it.

Without a moment's hesitation, I reported Claudia's promotion paperwork.

Once it was confirmed that I had completed the project on my own, her paperwork was verified and rejected in under half a day.

The whole time, Robert sent me message after message. I ignored every one.

I looked at the notification on my computer screen: my promotion application, approved.

I let out a long breath, finally.

I opened my phone. Robert had sent one last message.

Got it out of your system now? Come home early tonight. Dragging this out any further won't look good for either of us.

Even now, Robert still thought I was throwing a little jealous tantrum.

With a light tap of my finger, I moved him to my blocklist.

Then I went straight back to the hotel where I was staying for the time being.

The next day.

After the sales department's morning meeting, I was held back alone to go over the details of my promotion.

But the moment I stepped out of the conference room, the whole office had changed.

People passing by looked at me like I was something filthy, dropping their eyes and hurrying away.

Snatches of conversation drifted past, just out of reach.

"That's the one who's the mistress?"

"She always seemed so normal. You'd never guess she was that kind of person"

A bad feeling crawled up inside me.

Back at my desk, I picked up my phone.

The work group chat was buried under messages from Claudia.

A certain supervisor, surname Mason, has repeatedly harassed and tried to seduce my fianc.

When seduction didn't work, she maliciously reported my promotion application. How does someone like that deserve to work at this company!

The guesses started fast.

Is it AM?

No wonder she didn't show up at the engagement party that day. Turns out she was just jealous of someone else.

Dozens of screenshots, every one cropped at the head and tail.

Claudia had deleted all of Robert's replies to me, twisting it to look like I'd been harassing him one-sidedly.

To keep things discreet, Robert and I had never gone public with our relationship.

But plenty of these people had been to Claudia's engagement party. Whose side they'd take was obvious.

The thing had been brewing for nearly an hour, the messages racking up by the thousands.

And Robert, the actual person involved, still hadn't come forward to deny any of it.

The screenshots were even taken from his point of view, his own first-person view.

I didn't dare let myself dwell on it. I typed fast, trying to clear my name.

A sudden commotion broke out at the office door.

Claudia shoved past everyone trying to stop her and strode right up to me.

Before I could even react, a hard slap landed straight across my face.

"You shameless little tramp, seducing someone else's fianc, and you've still got the nerve to show up for work!"

The sting bloomed hot across my face, my head swimming.

I cupped my cheek and stood there dazed for a long moment before I came back to myself.

On instinct, I started to hit her back.

The second my hand came up, a powerful grip clamped around me and flung me aside.

I caught myself on the edge of the desk, off balance.

When I looked up, Robert, who'd been hiding offline in the group chat just moments ago, stood planted firmly in front of Claudia, shielding her.

His eyes were ice cold.

In a daze, I thought back to my first year at the company.

Because I was good at the job and climbed fast, someone had pointed at my face and called me a whore who slept her way up.

Back then Robert had stood in front of me just like this, shielding me so completely no one could touch me.

Now the blade was pointed at me.

Tears slid down my face.

I looked at Robert and let out a bitter laugh.

"Aren't you going to explain?"

Not just the group chat. This, too. Right now.

When he saw me, his eyes wavered for a single instant.

Then they turned cold and resolute.

"Everything my fiance said is true."

"Miss Mason, please stop harassing us from now on."

He didn't raise his voice, but it was loud enough for everyone around the office to hear.

In an instant, the office buzzed deafeningly with talk.

"Oh my God, the man himself stepped in. That settles it, right?"

"And this is the woman they want to promote to director. God help whoever ends up reporting to her."

With someone to back her up, Claudia tucked herself behind him and shot me a taunting look.

Robert took a few steps forward, leaned in close, and dropped his voice.

"You took Claudie's promotion. She's very upset."

"Just let her vent, and once she's gotten it out of her system it'll be fine. I'll clear things up for you later. You'll still get to be director."

That line again. "I'll clear things up later."

I scrubbed the tears away hard and pulled up my chat history with Robert with shaking hands, trying to prove myself.

But my phone was wiped clean. Even the photo album had been emptied.

In an instant, it clicked.

The only person who knew my passcode and could slip out alone during the sales department meeting to get hold of my phone was him.

To let Claudia have her satisfaction, Robert hadn't just smeared me as a mistress. He'd sealed off every way out.

All that was left in my head was disbelief.

The chatter, the insults, droned in my ears.

Another message popped up on my phone.

HR: Given the talk in the group chat, the higher-ups are going to suspend your promotion.

The last string in my head snapped.

"Enough!"

I heard my own voice, shrill to the point of despair.

The room went quiet for a moment.

A thought that had been buried deep in me surged up wildly.

I grabbed the mouse, opened the company intranet, and sent in my resignation.

This place, this city. I wasn't staying for any of it!